I heart my frank pyschiatrist

Me: Well, I had a boyfriend for a few months, but he decided he must go on a spiritual journey that God was calling him to devote his heart fully to.
(long pause as Dr. L stares with an amused expression)
Me: Yeah, stay away from the poetic types.
Dr. L: Or the fruitloops.

That's not what she said

or: That's what Dylan said to Jesse

mum: (says something mundane)
me: That's what she said.
mum: Who is "she?" *confused expression*
me: *bursts into gasping, uncontrollable laughter*
mum: Is it something...twisted or...sick?
me: Depends. Are you Mormon?
mum: No...
me: Are you Catholic?
mum: No...
me: Are you protestant?
mum: Yes...
me: Then yes. Yes, it is.